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We were discussing that at the marriage the
wrong customs create problems for the rest of the married life
and at times this creates bad results and name to the family.
Another very bad custom has become rooted
in our culture and it is that after marriage the in-laws of the
bride try to suppress her in any which way and that sometimes
increases with time. First of all at the time of marriage there
are all kinds of demands from the bridegroom’s side otherwise
they threaten to go back without marriage and that brings bad
name and shame to bride. The bridegroom’s party at that time
loses all the fear of ALLAH and forgets that they too have
daughters to wed and they become ready to go back even for a
small mater.
Even when the marriage is consumed, they
keep on adding to their demands or keep blaming the bride for
not bringing a good dowry etc. or she gets stopped from going to
her parent’s home to even visit. She gets blamed for somebody
of her family mistreating them so they don’t want you to have
any thing to do with your original family. If we had followed
the guidance of Allah and His prophet (pbuh), these things would
not have happened at all. We forget here that Allah says, “The
one who does not protect his Muslim brother's property and honor
is not a Muslim” Further to this the prophet (pbuh) said that
whosoever breaks relations will not enter paradise. According
to this prophets (pubh) word is ALLAH’s command as He says that
“What he (prophet pbuh) says is my command and in certain cases
He (Allah) also says that “he (prophet pbuh) acts as I (Allah)
would". This distinction was given to Prophet Muhammad (pbuh)
only. The word relations is not specific, rather it is a
general term used for any relation by blood or in humanity. To
go in paradise one has to be pious and piety comes by being
obedient to Allah and His prophet (pbuh). In this hadith used
Arabic word "qatay" will not enter paradise. So word qatay is
comprehensive be cause this is word of ALLAH through prophet (pbuh)
according to this we cannot break relations at will. I have
seen many a practicing Muslims disobeying this and breaking
relations for small things. This sin will not be forgiven by
Allah and what if that person with whom you broke a relation
dies or you die without mending it then there will be no way to
resolve the matter.
So the solution to this is that you should
mend your relations with the angry person in your first
opportunity and refrain from such occurrences so that you could
be admissible to paradise. If the other person does not want to
burry the hatchet then recite this saying of the prophet (pbuh)
to him and ask the person to forgive you. If the person is God
fearing, then he will forgive you and will rebuild the
relation. Here the event of Battle of Jamel can be your
guidance in which Aisha (RA), Talha(RA) and Zubair (RA) were
facing Ali. (RA) When Zubair came to fight Ali (RA), he told
Zubair (RA)if he remembered prophet (pubh) saying that a day
will come when you will come face to face in fight and Ali (RA)
will be on the right. When Zubair(RA) heard this he embraced
Ali (RA) and the battle was stopped. Such are the things that
our faith requires is the identity of a pious man that he obeys
Allah and His prophet (pbuh). Even if the other person does not
agree with you, you will get double reward on your efforts you
made and enter in paradise here after Insha Allah. |
