Seniors as a volunteer

 We were discussing the need for elders to get more education in the religious and non-religious subjects so that they could guide the youth with better answers.   I must make it clear here that there is no age limit to become a volunteer.  One of my colleagues in volunteering as a ministry senior citizen counselor and was 94 years old and he was alert.  We both worked in the same shift for seven years.  I used to learn the ropes from him in the beginning however he soon graciously acknowledged that I have surpassed him in knowledge and started consulting me in different matters.  I am telling this only to encourage you and not to blow my own horn.  There is nothing here that will stop you from learning more, neither age nor limits in knowledge.  The people here do not shy away from teaching or learning, and neither do they hide their ignorance.   

Here I will tell you about what will happen if we do not keep ourselves active.  The same colleague of mine, when I was going on a trip to India via Saudi Arabia and Pakistan, told me that "he wanted to retire now from my work on your return from vacations."  I told him that if he did not keep himself active and stayed home instead then he would soon pass away.  He replied that since his wife has passed away, he does not want to live any more.  So when I came back in 2001, he took his retirement and died the same year.  Staying home and doing nothing made him weaker.  I lost a good friend and the senior’s center lost a capable person.  Even if we take a counselors course given by most universities and colleges, and associations along with education in psychology then we could help the Muslim community a lot.  You have to have a master’s degree for this and there are many in our community who meet this requirement.   

The proposed community hall or multipurpose hall adjacent to mosques could benefit from such people as they will be able to guide and help our youth and distressed men and women of our community.  Our children, while exposed to the western society, face many difficult situations and they cannot talk about these to every one.  Since the counselors take an oath, under the confidentiality act, to keep confidentiality of their clients, thus the people can confidently talk to them about their problems.  This way the role of elders will become exemplary.  In this society the fake smiles and flattery can cause problems by giving false impressions, because when the reality becomes known then our children face frustration and the parents without understanding rebuke the children.  However if the parents had taught their children the difference between good and bad, they would not have fallen in such pits.   

We are told from our childhood that eating pork is not allowed for Muslims.  However somebody told me that a Muslim does not eat pork, however he drinks liquor.  In this regard Mirza Ghalib (an eminent Muslim poet) jokingly said to the British judge, when he was questioned in a litigation case, that he is half Muslim.  When asked as to what did he mean by that.  He replied, he does drink but does not eat pork.  The kings and the rich of that time were fond of drinking but did not eat pork.  Subconsciously Ghalib behaved the same way.  In our thinking we have become selective in our following of Islam.  We do give emphasis to the rights of Allah, however we do not follow Him in the rights of other humans that He has ordered, and even when these are given in the same verse.  It is written in Quran that narcotics and gambling is not allowed in Islam. 

As far as gambling is concerned, we openly do it.  We proudly tell each other to buy the lottery ticket this time because it's going to be a big one.  Drinking is not common though some people do it in privacy, unless they consider themselves ultra modern.  Most of the people gamble in various forms such as card games of rummy, bridge etc and called fun try to get away by calling these just games.  As for as Lottery is concerned, they make an excuse that it is meant to help the needy and is used for social benefits.  However Quran does not allow gambling in any form even then for charity too.  Moreover the homes where gambling is considered all right, their children become gamblers too.  These children in their subconscious consider this not to be a taboo.  So if we teach the children the difference between right and wrong they will not develop tendencies to do bad things and subconsciously will stay away from these.  Same way the girls of our community will not develop relationships with the non-Muslim boys, if we tell them that in Islam marriage is not allowed with non-Muslims.  However it is allowed for the Muslim boys to marry Christian and Jew girls.  If a boy wants to become Muslim, instead of encouraging him, he is put down as just changing his faith for the sake of marriage only.  When a person declares to become a Muslim then we must accept him as a Muslim.  Our prophet (pbuh) did not doubt the religion of the hypocrites after they had declared to be Muslim.  Only Allah knows who is a Muslim and who is not.   

In our community if we have Muslim counselors, they can guide us in these matters.  However if we have taught the right way to our children they themselves become immune from any wrong paths.

A counselor can assess the matter professionally and give the proper advice amicably, and we should heed to that so that the matter does not become further complicated.  Here I remember one case in which a Pakistani boy became involved in an affair.  I suggested to his father that he should get the boy married to that girl.  However against my advice he ordered his son to come back to Pakistan right away.  The result was that the son got married without father’s permission and that caused rift in the family.