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We were saying that parents should also
refrain from making un-Islamic demands from their children. As
going against the commands of Allah and His prophet (pbuh) is
Shirk and this does not allow you to remain a Muslim so the
children do not have to follow parents in this regard. When the
couple takes wedding wows, they commit themselves to each other
in the name of Allah. When the parents ask the son or daughter
to get divorce based on the personal conflicts and grudges of
the parents, then they are going back on Islam. At times, others
too join in this demand while they should be following the
teachings of Islam. These people who fuel such fires rather
then extinguishing them are cursed. Islamic way is to support
the truth and not the falsehood.
Quran says, “Destruction is to the ones who
create mischief”. The prophet (pbuh ) says, “ A Pretender is
not a Muslim. How he can a person be a Muslim is the one who
does not keep Allah's trust, and does not fulfill his promise,
is a liar, disrespectful and calls names when disputing. The
prophet (pbuh) further said that, “If a person does any of these
things then he is not a true Muslim unless he mends his ways”.
He also says, “Pretender Muslims will be placed in the worst
part of hell”. When the parents push for the divorce of the
couple they would be suggesting breach of trust and breaking of
the promise. May Allah save us from hypocrisy and going back on
Islam. Amen.
Let us talk about some other matters
regarding our behavior as parents. In the beginning we keep our
distance from the children and do not include them in our
decision-making and neither do we take interest in their
activities. It is a common observation that some times the
parents do not hesitate to insult their children and injure
their sense of self-respect, which causes inferiority complex in
them, and that becomes a hindrance in their future development.
Because of this they also develop hesitation and some even start
stuttering. This results in lack of confidence, and we all know
that confidence is required in the progress of a child. We have
seen that sometimes the children of capable and intelligent
parents do not become distinguished because of this. As
Muslims, it is our duty to give respect to the children.
As soon a child opens his mouth to say
something his parents tells him to shut up or that he should
stay quiet because he does not know enough. This blocks their
sense of exploration, which badly hampers the child’s
development. You must listen to the child attentively and give
him logical answers to his queries. If the child gets heart
broken then he will stop asking you questions and will stay
ignorant. You as a parent must guide a child and increase his
knowledge because you have more knowledge and experience in
life. Just imagine when you used to teach him how to walk, and
still helped him when he fell down after a few steps and used to
let him go a few steps without you holding his hands. You need
to carry the same training in his later years so that he
develops confidence and becomes able to handle his own affairs
with confidence. If you instill in him the pride to be a good
Muslim then you will not need to keep on coaching him in the
later years. However, if you do not teach your children the
difference between right and wrong, latter it may become
difficult for them to lead a life as a good Muslim.
It becomes difficult to lead a straight
path in a different society if the children do not develop with
the Islamic pride and he does not recognize what is haram what
is halal in this sense in their childhood. In such a case we
should make toba first, and than tempt him to revert to the
Muslim ways and grace Al –mighty ALLAH. Insha Allah you will
not find your prayer un answered. I must point out that by
changing the utility of mosques; we have created problems for
ourselves. By discouraging the entry of women and children to
our mosques we have blocked the real purpose of our mosques in
the name of keeping the sanctity of the mosques. We need to
revive it's true purpose. If we stop the mothers to come to the
mosques and scare the children away, we would be hindering their
Islamic education. By being kind to the children in the mosque
we will attract them to these places of learning.
If we could not attract children to the
mosques we will have to face the limitations that it will
cause. Would our leaders think about this? Let us now see how
our guiding light, the prophet Muhammad (pbuh), as to how he
handled this issue. Do we find him keeping women away from the
mosques? Did they not try to learn about Islam at the mosques?
Were the children not allowed in the mosques? Was he (pbuh) not
kind to the children? Did not the children love him (pbuh)
instead of being scared? The answer to all these questions is
different in the era of prophet (pbuh). Then why are we going
against his examples? Our salvation lies in following him (pbuh) |
