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We were saying that both husband and wife
are bound to Islamic laws as Allah is the only sovereign power
and these are His laws and you are allowed only the rights given
under these laws. None of the submitters ( mulim) is allowed to
surpass these laws. Thus both husband and wife should keep this
in mind with each of the things to do or express their wishes.
Moving along let us now consider an Arabic
word “mauroof” which has been used in Quran in various verses.
It means to follow the traditional way and that may contain the
local traditions, which may not be against Islam, however a lot
has been left to interpretation by conscious, as Islam is an
international and not a local religion. Here we must keep in
mind one of the prophet’s (pubh) sayings that, “Difference
between me and other prophets is that I have come to disallow
(made haram) only a few things while other prophets came to
allow only a few”. If you look at things in this light then you
will see that Allah has allowed us many things, which were not
allowed to previous nations, however we may burden ourselves as
we wish. Quran says, “We {Allah) do not burden human beings
beyond their capacity unless they take it upon themselves”.
Since Islam started in Arabia, the Arab traditions were
prevalent as examples. According to this tradition the husband
was the bread winner and the wife looked after the home.
However, now due to greed and western civilization, that
tradition has been lost. Now both husband and wife work and
children are left to the baby sitters or servants and that is
prevalent in most of the countries. In Canada very few can
afford servants so the only alternative left is the look after
of children at the day care centers or with baby sitters.
So far as greed is concerned I have met a
husband who has a well paying job and still his wife was working
too. When I was visiting Pakistan reached their residence his
wife had just come back from work and told me that since their
servant did not come for work, she has to cook in a hurry so
that she could prepare dinner. I asked the husband as to why
his wife has to work in spite of their wealth? His answer was
that we want to live like the Europeans and the wife has to
work for an airline so that we could get the airline passes to
enjoy vacations abroad. So you see that our priorities have
changed from raising good children to having a good time for
ourselves. The society has degraded itself to such an extant
that in countries such as Canada 40% of the welfare money goes
to the single mothers whose boyfriends or husbands leave them
stranded to raise the children by themselves. I wanted to point
out, by this detailed discussion, that we have to choose between
the western ways and Islamic way. However, if for some reason
both of you do have to work then you should split the
responsibilities at home. It was not in the marriage contract
that wife will have to work, and if she makes this sacrifice for
the family then it is a duty of the husband to help her in the
household chores and not to expect her to serve you in every
which way such as getting you a glass of water or massaging your
feet etc. Certainly massaging your feet is not part of marriage
contract. I personally think that asking for it would be an
insult to her. I never ask this sort of thing from any body.
So much so that I don't even ask my barber to cut my toe nails
thinking that it would be insulting to a human being. In our
country back home, every one seems to be getting such services,
particularly at Madrassas and Khanqahs. We don't have any such
example of our prophet (PBUH) or any such command is found in
Quran.
When we look at our prophet’s (pubh) life,
we do not find any such thing as getting foot massage from any
of his wives. Instead it is known through hadith that he used
to help his (pubh) wives in household chores. His (pubh) saying
that “the best among people is the one who is good with his wife
and I am the best with family”. Such a statement can only be
made by a person who fulfills al the requirements of a good
person. |
