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We were talking about example of the
married life of the prophet Muhammad (pbuh) with two examples
before us, one of Khadija (RA) and the other one of Aisha (RA).
We made a point that our salvation lies in following of prophet
(pbuh) which is not hard. ALLAH has made his prophets (PBUH)
from among human beings, including Prophet Muhammad (pbuh), as
embodiment of perfect examples for human beings. Prophet
Muhammad (pubh) held highest of this standard, as he was last of
the prophets. Since Adam (pbuh), Islam was gradually being
completed for humanity and it achieved its zenith with Prophet
Muhammad (pbuh). We can now confidently say that solutions to
the humanly matters can be found in Quran and Sunnah. Allah says
“My favorite Deen (way of life) is Islam” and that “all the
rewards are for the believers”. Believers are the ones who
believe in sovereignty of Allah and following of the prophet (pbuh).
Since we have no exception to this to be Muslims, we can have
exceptions in our married lives. How could it be that we remain
Muslims but follow customs instead of following the teachings of
Islam? The sermon at the time of a Muslim marriage is in a
practice in following the prophet (pbuh). It contains three
conditions. Firstly to remain a Muslim, secondly firmness of
promise made at that time and thirdly to look after the
relatives. In a way this is the manifesto of the marriage in
which the first section is that the two submitters to Allah will
follow His commands, as the prophet (pubh) did, and to go back
on this promise would be to go back on the whole contract of
marriage. The second condition is the firmness of the promises
made at the time meaning that this contract is not in vain as
the marriage is consumed not only to please Allah, rather in a
way is to complete the will of Allah since it is considered as
half of the faith. At this occasion the Hadith that is quoted
says, “Nikkah is my tradition and whosoever disobeys this is not
among us”. The third condition is to be kind to the relatives (
sila rahmi). We will now see how these three conditions affect
our married life. In the first condition the stipulation of
remaining Muslim throughout the marriage is the essence of this
contract to benefit from this relation and if any one goes back
on this the marriage is nullified and either of them can go to
court for divorce.
The second condition is of strongly
upholding the promises made and in Islam this is of utmost
importance. The importance of this has been explained in another
verse in Quran, which says “The purpose of marriage is not to
satisfy the sexual desires, but to give birth and raise pious
children”.
This objective can only be fulfilled when
the couple submits and stays obedient to Allah throughout their
lives.
Last but not the least is the matter of
being kind to your relatives regarding which the prophet (pbuh)
says, “One who is unkind to relatives and break relations with
them will not enter paradise”. The question to ponder is that
why this was made a stipulation to marriage as the relations are
being made in the marriage and not broken. The reason is that
there is a danger of relations broken after marriage such as
neglecting parents and other relations in getting too much
absorbed in the married life.
After elaborating these conditions in
marriage, let us go back to the married life itself. Here Islam
orders Muslims to be obedient to Allah. The head of the family
is the husband; however he has this right only until he is just
and pious. Obedience of a leader is due only in the good and
betterment but not when he is sinning nor has bad intentions.
Thus the leader should expect obedience only when he is obeying
Allah, and the wife should be obedient only when the husband
asks for it following the Islamic way. The husband was given
upper hand only because he is the bread winner for the family,
otherwise both of them are equal except in piety and that only
Allah knows. Society will only know the apparent and they are
equal in that regard. What to talk of husband and wife, in the
eyes of Islam even a slave is equal to them. One has to feed
them what they eat yourselves and clothe them similar to what
you wear. Here you must remember the event when the Caliph Omar
(RA) reached Jerusalem his slave was riding the camel while the
caliph was walking along because it was the slave's turn to ride
the camel. When they were traveling to Jerusalem, one day the
caliph (RA) used to ride the camel and the other day it was
slave's turn to ride it. Khalid bin Walid (RA) had advised the
caliph to ride a horse and wear a better dress since they were
entering Jerusalem after capturing it, but the caliph did not
agree to that. When the head priest of Jerusalem saw this
scene, he immediately gave the keys to the city as this was
prophesied in the holy books to be the sign of the conqueror of
that holy city. The essence of the discussion is that the wife
has the same rights as the husband. Allah has made this
division of work between husband and wife that the husband earns
the provisions and the wife protects the honor of husband and
amicably raises his children according to Islamic guidance. She
has a right to your earnings, however you do not have a right to
her earnings if she is gainfully employed, however she can
contribute by her own free will. The husband does have a right
in her inheritance be it her own earnings or her inheritance,
after she dies. Up to some extant |
